The Bet
by sean.p.ware
Summary: After reading about another mugging in the newspaper, Elaine buys a gun for protection. George meets an attractive woman and makes a bet with Kramer. P.S. I Do Not Own Seinfeld
1. Chapter 1

**The Bet**

**Hey everybody, sean. here and I'm bringing you my first Seinfeld fanfiction story. This is my own version of the unproduced, controversial episode for season two. Plot: Elaine makes a bet against Jerry on buying a handgun to protect herself. Subplot: George meets an attractive woman and makes a bet with Kramer. I do not own Seinfeld.**

**(Opening Monologue)**

Jerry: Went to the supermarket the other day and the thing that I like about the supermarket is that they have that little rubber divider stick at the concession stand. That's good, because you have your items and you want a little property too. You put your stick down, "Everybody back it off! These are my items!" Now there are two ways to use a rubber divider stick, you can put it on the conveyor belt that works that way or you can hold it in your hand. You try doing that? You put it in your hand and you go: "Hey, those potato chips are getting close to my box of donuts. Excuse me. (Makes htting noise) Aren't you paying attention? We have a little problem here. You see the corner of the bag it's up against the box. I'm gonna just try to knock that back off a little, okay? Hey, don't touch it!"

**Scene One**

**(Monk's Restaurant, Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a booth)**

Elaine: I am getting really sick about hearing people talk about their relationships.

Jerry: Why? I thought you like hearing me talk about my relationships?

Elaine: It's much different.

Jerry: Oh.

Elaine: So anyway, I have this friend named Teddy and she's going out with this guy named Spencer, the guy I told you about.

Jerry: I thought he cheated on her with another woman?

Elaine: He did. But, Teddy gave him another chance. So then she starts talking about her love life and all that crap. She's like "I'm so happy that Spencer and I are back together." Yeah, so where does that leave me? With the rest of the single ladies.

Jerry: Well, you know what they say about love. It's for suckers.

Elaine: (Gasps) Oh my god.

Jerry: What?

Elaine: (Hands Jerry the newspaper) Look at this, there's been another mugging in Central Park. A woman was found mugged last night in Central Park at around 11:30 PM. You know, New York is a dangerous place for a woman and at night too. I mean, what if I become one of those women who gets mugged, raped or worse killed?

Jerry: I doubt that a masked attacker would rape you at gunpoint in an alley.

Elaine: What if I get raped the second time in my apartment? This time by a burglar!

Jerry: Alright, enough with the rape stuff! This is creeping me out.

Elaine: Jerry, this is a serious issue. A woman has a right to defend herself. We have self-defense classes and I take them.

Jerry: Does it work?

Elaine: When we dated and I kicked you in the boys for staring at my breasts, yes.

Jerry: Hey, that was a hard kick. I threw up that night.

Elaine: (Laughs) This is getting to dangerous in the city. You know I've been thinking about buying a gun…

Jerry: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm afraid I'm going to have to advise against this. A gun?

Elaine: Yeah.

Jerry: Elaine, guns are dangerous. You might hurt someone with that or worse kill them.

Elaine: Jerry, I need to protect myself. You know what it's like in this city, it's a jungle out there.

Jerry: But it's not right. In fact, I bet that you're not going to buy a gun.

Elaine: Oh yeah?

Jerry: Yeah.

Elaine: How much do you want to bet against me?

Jerry: Did I say "bet", I meant "met".

Elaine: No, Jerome. I heard the word "bet".

Jerry: I'm not betting, Elaine.

Elaine: Why? Are you a wuss?

Jerry: Wuss.

Elaine: Yeah. A wuss.

Jerry: Did you call me a wuss?

Elaine: Jerry, if you don't make this bet you're a wuss. Maybe a wussy little fraidy cat.

Jerry: Alright! I'll bet you $100 that you won't buy a gun to protect yourself.

Elaine: Okay. $100. (Shakes Jerry's hand)

Jerry: Don't forget to pay the check. (Runs out of his seat and out of the coffee shop)

Elaine: You son of bitch! (Picks up check)

**So, what do you think of my Seinfeld story? I hope you enjoyed this story. Stay tuned next time for more of The Bet. See ya!**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Bet**

**Here's scene two of The Bet. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Scene Two**

**(JFK Airport, George reads an issue of Time Magazine and notices and attractive blonde woman with hazel eyes wearing a cute black hairband, a purple blazer, a black blouse, a silk black skirt with a bow that has diamonds on it and black boots sitting next to him. The woman notices George staring at her, George smiles at the woman and the woman smiles back at her.)**

George: Hi. How are you?

Stefanie: I'm good. What about you?

George: Pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.

Stefanie: (Laughs) You're so adorable.

George: Thanks. My name's George Costanza, I'm in real estate. If you're looking for an apartment or a house, I'm your guy.

Stefanie: My name's Stefanie Reed. I'm a businesswoman.

George: Wow Stefanie, you have a beautiful name and you're really beautiful.

Stefanie: Aww, thanks.

George: I'm not doing anything over the weekend and I was wondering if you want to go out on a date with me sometime?

Stefanie: Sure. (Pulls out a pen and paper out from her purse and writes George her number.) Here's my number. Call me. (Hands him her number)

George: Okay. I'll call you.

Stefanie: Okay. Bye George.

George: Bye Stefanie.

**(Stefanie leaves. Kramer arrives from the terminal and sees George.)**

Kramer: Well, looks like you've really hit it off with that blonde.

George: (Smiles) Yeah.

Kramer: (Laughs) You got the right stuff.

George: Yep, I got it. So how was your trip?

Kramer: Oh, George it was amazing. It was the best trip of my life. On the plane, I met this female flight attendant she was smoking hot and me and her joined the mile-high club. Va-va-va-voom!

George: Get the hell outta here. You had sex with her on a plane?

Kramer: Yeah. She was pretty wild. You asked that blonde on a date, I bet that you won't have sex with her.

George: Hey, I'm not betting and you're not supposed to be betting either. You have a gambling problem.

Kramer: Hey, hey, hey! I've kicked that habit. Besides, it's not coming back.

George: Well, I say no betting.

Kramer: Oh come on, George. I bet that after that date and she takes you up to her apartment, you won't have sex with her. No money involved. If you win, I wear a schoolgirl's outfit and say: "I'm a little schoolgirl."

George: And if you win?

Kramer: You wear the schoolgirl outfit.

George: Alright, deal. (Shakes Kramer's hand)

**Meanwhile**

**(Gun Store. Jerry goes to the gun store with Elaine. Elaine looks for a gun.)**

Elaine: So, Jerry. Which gun do you think I should get, a .357 magnum or a .44 magnum?

Jerry: Oh, yeah. I see you out on the street with a .44 magnum and point at a mugger saying: "Go ahead, make my day."

Elaine: Ooh, how about a snubnosed revolver? That'll look good.

Jerry: Elaine, I still think that this is a bad idea for you to buy a gun.

Elaine: Jerry, have you ever heard of a little something called the 2nd amendment? I have the right to bear arms and this is the time to bear arms. Hey, Jerry. How about a MAC-10? That looks like a cool weapon.

Jerry: Yeah, if you're a drug dealer or John Wayne. That is an illegal weapon.

Elaine: (Points at the gun) Excuse me. What type of weapon is this?

Angus: This is a Colt Series 80 Gold Cup National Match edition with nickel plating. Why, are you interested?

Elaine: (Looks back at Jerry) Yes I am. How much is it? Because this is my first gun.

Angus: This is your first time buying a gun?

Elaine: Yeah.

Angus: Tell you what? You have a nice face, so I am going to give you the "nice-face" discount for $50.

Elaine: Deal.

**(In Jerry's Car)**

Elaine: (Pointing the gun at Jerry) So Jerry, which one do you want the Kennedy or the McKinley?

Jerry: I cannot believe that you bought the gun, you're not Charles Bronson. This isn't _Death Wish_!

Elaine: Hey, don't forget my money.

Jerry: What money?

Elaine: The money from the bet. I bought the gun, I won the bet.

Jerry: Uh, I'll get you your money tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Elaine: Okay. I am gonna try this baby out when I go to the gun range tomorrow morning. So, I'll see you later.

Jerry: Yeah, I'll see you later.

Elaine: Okay, bye Jerry. (Leaves Jerry's car)

Jerry: (Looks really scared) Yeah, bye.

**Whoa, looks like Jerry is afraid that Elaine has gotten a case of "gun fever". Don't forget to review (No Bad Review) and if you have any request for a story, PM me. See ya next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Bet**

**Here's what happened in the last two scenes in case you've missed it.**

**(Recap)**

Elaine: (Gasps) Oh my god.

Jerry: What?

Elaine: (Hands Jerry the newspaper) Look at this, there's been another mugging in Central Park. A woman was found mugged last night in Central Park at around 11:30 PM. You know, New York is a dangerous place for a woman and at night too. I mean, what if I become one of those women who gets mugged, raped or worse killed?

Jerry: I doubt that a masked attacker would rape you at gunpoint in an alley.

Elaine: This is getting to dangerous in the city. You know I've been thinking about buying a gun…

Jerry: Elaine, guns are dangerous. You might hurt someone with that or worse kill them. In fact, I bet that you're not going to buy a gun.

Elaine: How much do you want to bet against me?

Jerry: I'll bet you $100 that you won't buy a gun to protect yourself.

Elaine: Okay. $100. (Shakes Jerry's hand)

George: I'm not doing anything over the weekend and I was wondering if you want to go out on a date with me sometime?

Stefanie: Sure. (Pulls out a pen and paper out from her purse and writes George her number.) Here's my number. Call me. (Hands him her number)

Kramer: You asked that blonde on a date, I bet that you won't have sex with her.

George: Hey, I'm not betting and you're not supposed to be betting either. You have a gambling problem.

Kramer: If you win, I wear a schoolgirl's outfit and say: "I'm a little schoolgirl."

George: And if you win?

Kramer: You wear the schoolgirl outfit.

Elaine: So, Jerry. Which gun do you think I should get, a .357 magnum or a .44 magnum?

Jerry: Oh, yeah. I see you out on the street with a .44 magnum and point at a mugger saying: "Go ahead, make my day."

Elaine: Jerry, have you ever heard of a little something called the 2nd amendment? I have the right to bear arms and this is the time to bear arms. (Points at the gun) Excuse me. What type of weapon is this?

Angus: This is a Colt Series 80 Gold Cup National Match edition with nickel plating.

Elaine: (Pointing the gun at Jerry) So Jerry, which one do you want the Kennedy or the McKinley?

Jerry: I cannot believe that you bought the gun, you're not Charles Bronson. This isn't _Death Wish_!

Elaine: Hey, don't forget my money.

Jerry: What money?

Elaine: The money from the bet. I bought the gun, I won the bet.

Jerry: Uh, I'll get you your money tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Elaine: Okay, bye Jerry. (Leaves Jerry's car)

Jerry: (Looks really scared) Yeah, bye.

**(End Recap)**

**Ladies and Gentlemen: I bring you scene three of **_**The Bet**_**. Enjoy.**

**Scene Three**

**(Jerry's Apartment. Jerry stands by the counter talking to George while eating a bowl of cereal. George sits on the stool eating a piece of pizza.)**

Jerry: Do you believe Elaine? We make a bet to see if she won't buy a gun to protect herself. We go down to the gun store and she goes ahead and buys a gun that look like Agent 47 would use to kill people. Wins the bet and she wants me to give her the money!

George: That is a scary story.

Jerry: After she left out of my car, I was actually scared of her.

George: What?

Jerry: (Takes a bite of cereal) Yes, I'm scared of Elaine.

George: (Laughs) You! Scared of Elaine? What kind of nut are you? You tell me that a woman with a .45 automatic scares you. Have some cojones, be a man! Don't be scared of her!

Jerry: George, I should be scared of Elaine. I'm afraid of going out with her all because she's carrying around that gun. She might shoot me with it.

George: Well you dated her. (Smirks at Jerry)

Jerry: Yeah. (Mutters) Blow it out your…

George: What?

Jerry: (Turns to George) Huh?

George: Did you say something?

Jerry: No, I didn't say anything.

George: But I thought I heard you say something.

Jerry: No I didn't. I'm sure I didn't say anything. So tell me about Stefanie.

George: She's nice. Very attractive. She has legs that a guy can touch for hours and hours.

Jerry: You really got a thing for her.

George: I sure do. And we're going out tonight.

Jerry: Ooh baby. (Smiles)

**Kramer enters the apartment**

Kramer: Hiya neighbor!

Jerry: Hey.

Kramer: Do you have any Kix?

Jerry: (Hands Kramer the box of cereal) Yeah, here.

Kramer: Yes. Hey George. Are you seeing that woman tonight?

George: Yes I am.

Kramer: Are you going to go to bed with her?

George: I'm not gonna tell you! It's none of your business.

Kramer: C'mon George. This is part of the bet I got to know.

Jerry: What?

Kramer: It's nothing.

Jerry: No, no, no. What bet?

Kramer: George and I made a bet that he won't have sex.

Jerry: You're betting again? Kramer, you're not supposed to bet. (Hits George) Why are you making bets with him? He has a gambling problem!

George: I didn't know!

Jerry: You didn't know.

Kramer: Jerry, come on. I have this problem licked.

Jerry: Oh yeah! You have this problem licked. You've been gambling since 1977. That's fourteen years and you're betting again. Remember the time you made a bet with Aedin Chestnut on the Jets/Bears game? You owe that guy $200.

Kramer: Hey, I said I would pay him.

Jerry: Really?

**(Door buzzes)**

Jerry: Yeah?

Elaine: (On the intercom) It's Elaine.

Jerry: (Whispers) Oh god. Come on up. (Buzzes Elaine up) Elaine's coming up. I don't know how to confront her.

Kramer: What?

George: Jerry is scared of Elaine because she bought a gun and she won a bet.

Jerry: George. Shut up.

Kramer: (Laughs heartily) You're afraid of Elaine?

Jerry: I'M NOT SCARED OF ELAINE!

Kramer: Jerry, all because Elaine bought a gun doesn't mean that you have to be afraid of her. It's time for you to man up. I mean, it's not like she's gonna walk into this apartment and start waving that thing around.

**Elaine enters the apartment and points her gun at Kramer**

Elaine: (Points gun at Kramer) Freeze dirtbag!

Kramer: (Yells) Careful with that thing! You might shoot somebody with it.

Elaine: No, no, no Kramer. It's not loaded. Plus, the safety's on.

Kramer: I've got things to do so I'll see you later. (Leaves the apartment)

Jerry: Okay.

Elaine: Man, I am in love with this gun. I just love the feel of it and I love shooting it. Bad guys, be warned. Elaine Marie Benes is coming to get you and she's armed and dangerous.

(Jerry and George look at each other)

George: (Looks at his watch): Will you look at the time? I've got to get ready for my date with Stefanie. I'll shoot the news to you about my date. (Laughs. Jerry gives George the evil eye.) I'll see you later. (Leaves the apartment)

Elaine: So Jerry. Do you have my money?

Jerry: What money?

Elaine: The money from the bet that I've made with you.

Jerry: Oh right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

Elaine: Do you have my money, Jerry?

Jerry: Well, Elaine. I didn't go the bank this morning but I'll be going this afternoon.

Elaine: You don't have my money, do you?

Jerry: No, I don't.

Elaine: Look Jerry. (Moves closer to Jerry, Jerry takes a step back) Wha..why are you moving back? I'm not going to hurt you.

Jerry: I'm moving back?

Elaine: Yes.

Jerry: I didn't know that.

Elaine: My god. You're scared of me because I have a gun. Aren't you?

Jerry: (Laughs) I'm not scared.

Elaine: You are scared Jerry. If you don't have my money by tonight, I will hunt you down. I will find you. And I will kill you.

Jerry: Mommy!

Elaine: I always wanted to try that line on someone. I heard it on a Liam Neeson movie. (Laughs)

Jerry: (Laughs along) Right, Liam Neeson.

Elaine: Anyway, don't forget my money.

Jerry: Okay. I won't.

**Will Jerry give Elaine her money? Will George win the bet? Find out next time in scene four of **_**The Bet**_**. See you later, alligator!**


End file.
